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        You know that show, What Would You Do? Have you ever felt like you were in it, but only looking back on the situation? And maybe you failed, so that’s why you were never asked to sign a waiver to appear on the show? So, as comedian Josh Johnson once said, “I had the opportunity the other day to be a hero. I didn’t take it.”

        I was out walking Rocky. I ordered him a hands-free (beautiful ombre blue-green-yellow that matches my fanny pack) leash so I can bring my 3-lb (coincidentally matching blue) hand weights and get a little arm workout in. I was deep in my neighborhood (which is an overstatement because my neighborhood only has dozens of houses), and Rocky stopped to sniff a mailbox. I had my music going in my headphones, hanging around my neck, and I happened to look back. I saw an elderly man running down his driveway. And when I say running, my first thought was “whoa, that’s way too fast for that man.” 

        His driveway is steep. He misstepped, which gained him momentum down the driveway. He jogged a minute, then his feet were clearly doing things that he was unaware of. Suddenly, he went down, tumbling into a roll, landing near the bottom of his driveway.

        If anyone was looking out their window right at that moment, they would have seen the sheer tantrum-like annoyance on my face.

        ‘Dammit!’ I thought. ‘I don’t want to do this!’ My shoulders slumped, my mouth in a frown, and I definitely rolled my eyes in the most dramatic pre-teen way. 

        “Come on, Rocky,” I said, dragging him in the opposite direction of our planned walk–back towards the man.

        “Are you all right?” I called out weakly. I kept dragging the dog closer to the man’s driveway. Scenarios started to play out in my head.

        ‘What if this is a trap? What if this is a way to lure me into his house? What if he’s really wanting to take me captive and torture me, amidst all of my torture-like cancer treatments? I wonder if anyone has been kidnapped and tortured amidst cancer treatments.. I mean, I’m sure they have been, just as women who have just had a baby have been raped before. Oh my God, why am I thinking about this? I have a dog with me for goodness sake.’ Oh the fun of intrusive thoughts.

        “Sir, is there anyone home that can help you?” I still didn’t want to help him into his house. I had my dog with me.

        “No…nope. They all.. left.. the house,” he managed to squeeze out, as he crawled towards the parked car at the end of his driveway. “It’s my knee I’m worried about,” he said under his armpit as he tried to push himself up from knees to feet.

        “Can you call someone to come home and help you?” ‘God, this is a pathetic offering of help. I should be charged with elder abuse at this point. But I have my dog with me,’ I argued with myself.

        “No, nope. I just had back surgery, so I’m still recovering from that.” The whole scenario just keeps getting horrifically worse.

        “Oh my God–you’re bleeding,” I pointed out. He lifted his arm and, sure enough, blood was trickling down his forearm.

The mailman drove past and delivered the mail. Okay. If that guy can drive past and not offer any help at all, I think I should be in the clear with my pitiful attempt. He’s up. He’s walking. I think he’ll be okay. Hopefully. At least until someone comes home. I mean it’s really irresponsible to leave an elderly man, recovering from back surgery no less, home alone to his own devices where he might possibly attempt to go outside.

        “I was trying to get to my truck,” he said as he pointed up to the carport. Back UP the driveway, all the way attached to the house. “I must have misstepped.”

        “Hey–at least you can get your mail now!  You just didn’t know you’d be fast-tracked to your mailbox.” Did I really just say that? 

        Later, when I told Chris about the incident, he said, “You could have dialed 911 for him.” Huh. Stupid me, I thought it was me or no one. Isn’t that dumb? 

        I did walk back past his house a little later that day (again, with my dog), and there were at least three other adults there. One lady was pulling weeds near the driveway (I think it was in the area where he must have stepped off). Two others were just pulling up, but they were the other residents of the house (I recognized the car). No one looked sad or worried. They just looked like they needed to fix things. Thank God. None of them looked anything like John Quińones, and I didn’t see any evidence of camera equipment. I think I’m in the clear.