My port doesn’t always like to give good blood return–or blood return at all for that matter. For each appointment, the nurses have to flush my port with saline and make sure they can get blood return.  Then they actually take my blood for all my blood tests.  Unfortunately, I’m well versed in all the “tricks” that help get blood flowing through my port.  Today, however, I learned a new one.  

        “Who won the Halloween decoration contest?” Each wing of the medical center had decorated for a Halloween competition.

        “Infusion,” the phlebotomist answered.  I was sitting in the tiny 3-patient lab where they access my port prior to chemo treatments.  The phlebotomist had already given me a mask and was preparing my port for pricking.

        “Okay, that’s fair.  They get a lot of traffic back there. They have a large space, and they used it well,” I replied, thinking of the witchy theme and mixture of creative and basic decorations.

        “We got third place,” said one particularly prickly phlebotomist.  If her face was an emoji, she’d be the one with the slant down mouth 🫤.  And she was wearing a mask.

        “Who got second?” I asked, perplexed that they didn’t get second place with their vampire theme–’We want your blood!’ clearly messaged in their small blood-sucking space.  The lab was definitely more creative, but more compact. 

        “Front desk,” two of them said in unison.  The particularly prickly one added, “With their 3 little pumpkins.”  

        I burst out laughing.  And that’s what got my blood flowing through my port.  We kept the joke rolling–including one of the phlebotomists whipping out her phone and showing me pictures from a previous contest that the front desk had no business winning. Apparently the front desk is full of contest-cheaters….